Why oh why do breastfeeding mums have to fight the same battles year after year. I am nowhere near as good a writer as many of the very good bloggers out there, but I feel the need to add to the swell of voices supporting breastfeeding in the light of the negative guardian article last Friday and the anti breastfeeding stance taken constantly by the media in the UK and Ireland.
Re the Guardian article, no one can tell what anyone else is thinking by the look on their face or in their eyes. When I was much younger and a breastfeeding mum, what was I thinking when I looked at a bottle feeding mum? Probably much the same as now – ‘I wish they had more support to breastfeed’. Possibly ‘it was great she breastfed for 6 weeks I know that was a big deal for her’ or ‘what a pity she had to go back to work so early and it disrupted breastfeeding so much for her’ or ‘her mother-in-law knows nothing – puch!’. Nowadays it might also be ‘maybe that is expressed breastmilk’, or ‘maybe that mum struggles to produce enough milk’. I still think loads of people think I am crazy for supporting breastfeeding mums – however I had a couple of lovely conversations with new grannies recently where they didn’t think I was so crazy. And of course I can’t tell what people are actually thinking unless I speak to them.
On the subject of a child’s maturing immune system it is as plain as the nose on your face that children’s immune systems don’t mature until they are about 6 years old. From about 6 years onwards those annoying unknown viruses happen much less frequently and by secondary school the things they pick up are much more similar to what their parents pick up. At least if babies and children are breastfeeding when they get ill it is as if breastfeeding is medicine – all those antibodies fighting whatever bug the baby/child has. Plus breastfeeding is a painkiller if they are sore somewhere. One friend’s child actually put on weight while she had the chicken pox as all she did was breastfeed. Non breastfeeding ill babies/children are more likely to be hospitalised due to dehydration than ill breastfeeding babies/children.
Breastfeeding is normal. It is normal for toddlers to breastfeed. It is normal for some children to still be breastfeeding when they start school. Breastfeeding is always a dance and a negotiation between mother and baby or mother and child. From about 1 year old children will naturally wean themselves. However as the normal weaning age worldwide is between 2 and 4 years old, most will self wean at between 2 and 4 years old with some self weaning several years later. This is normal. It is also totally understandable why a mum will want to fight for breastfeeding if she has difficulties with breastfeeding, because breastfeeding is meant to go on for a long time. And also totally understandable if a mum wants to use a nursing supplementer long term because she needs to supplement her own supply. Last but not least it is completely understandable that a mum is desperately upset when she can’t get her milk supply going or struggles to produce even small amounts of breastmilk for her baby or weans before she had hoped to.
Breastfeeding is normal. Not weird, freaky, judgmental, unhealthy(!!), abnormal or controlling by the mother or the baby or the child. Breastfeeding is normal.
Finding this blog from a Northern Irish writer made me feel pleasantly surprised unfortunately most info on the Internet isn’t local and quite impersonal at times. I am a young mother and my son self weaned himself at around 12 month mark, I found it very difficult as a teen mum to breast feed around people who weren’t family and especially in public; even my friends found it “unnatural” and it made them uncomfortable around my son and I when it came to feeding time. I would love to know how I can help to promote a positive attitude toward breast feeding so that other new mothers can share the experiences and the special bond that I have my child. I never went to a breast feeding support group however I had a supportive partner and parents. I think advertising should be more widespread so that not only the mothers see posters in the doctors surery but so that the general public can see it and hopefully change their outlook.
Thanks Vanessa for commenting on my blog. The book you are reading by Daniel Hughes sounds interesting. Maybe you will make it along to a breastfeeding support group I run in the future. What age is your baby/toddler or are you pregnant? The next group is this Friday 20th January.
Thank you Ronia for commenting on my blog. I am so pleased to hear you had such a positive breastfeeding experience. One of the ways you could help promote a positive attitude to breastfeeding is to find out if there is a breastfeeding peer support scheme near you and ask if you could get involved. Another way is just to talk about your experience to anyone who will listen, including your friends who found breastfeeding made them uncomfortable. If they know about say breastfeeding’s immune boosting properties they may change their minds. Its not easy to be the local breastfeeding advocate, but it is worth trying.
Best wishes,
Sarah.